OXFORD, MS—Amid discussions of possibly postponing the debate altogether, Sens. Barack Obama (D-IL) and John McCain (R-AZ) were able to agree Thursday on a new guideline that would allow each candidate one 15-second strangulation during Friday night's presidential debate. "Both candidates will receive two minutes to answer each question, five minutes for discussion, and a one-time only option to walk over to his opponent's podium and cut off his oxygen supply for up to fifteen seconds," a statement from the Commission on Presidential Debates read in part, also specifying that debate moderator Jim Lehrer can exercise his own discretion in determining whether or not the strangulations go over time.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
First Dude
If this isn't one of the most awkward interviews you've ever seen...
Nice work, Fox News! Some really penetrating investigative journalism here. My favorite excerpt:
Greta: What did you say to [Sarah] after her [convention] speech?
Todd: 'Great speech.'
Greta: And what did she say?
Todd: 'Thanks.'
Friday, September 19, 2008
Christmas in July
Dear Walmart & Rite-Aid,
I love what you've done with your Halloween aisles. But...I'm just not ready yet. See you in a few weeks.
John
Above is a recent away message from one of my friends. Like him, I'm bewildered as to why I need to be looking at Halloween candy in September. I remember going grocery shopping in August, walking into Food Emporium, and being greeted by shelves upon shelves of bite-sized treats. Big, orange, plastic packages of chocolately goodness. With pumpkins on them. And bats. And ghosts. In August.
Is this an American thing? Why sweet Jesus am I seeing paper cut-outs of pilgrims pasted on the front doors of houses in my neighborhood? Can't you people at least have the decency to wait until Halloween passes before thinking about Thanksgiving?! I know you're anxious, but damn. Ride it out, son. Ride it out.
P.S. The picture of that baby above was taken on a sweltering July afternoon.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Check Me Out, Son
It's really not worth reading beyond the byline, lol...just like to see my name ;)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Catcher in the Rye
So I just finished reading "Catcher in the Rye" yesterday while coming home from work. The 1 train pulls up at 59th street and I get on, stand somewhere in the middle of the car and pull out my book. Then I notice that this guy sitting right under me is reading it too, which is kind of awkward but no big deal. Then a seat opens up -- right next to the guy. So there we are, sitting next to each other, reading the same edition of this book (with the BRIGHT ass yellow and red cover). More than a little awkward. I couldn't even concentrate. Am I obligated to somehow acknowledge that I know we're reading the same thing? Make some clever joke about what great taste he has in books? Turn to him and smile knowingly? I didn't want my eyes to go too far to my right when I was reading because I was afraid he'd think, out of his peripheral vision, that I kept looking over to see which part he was up to in the story. Then I noticed people around us looking from my cover to his, and back again. Yes people, we're reading the same book. And sitting right next to each other. Okay? The worst part was just as I was finishing the book and starting to put it back in my bag, he was getting up to get off at his stop, which totally made it look like the only reason I took my book out in the first place was because I saw HIM reading it. Perrrrfect.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Like a Fish Out of Water
That's kinda what it felt like when the powers that be behind the curtains of the RNC (didn't mean for that to rhyme) played '70s hit "Barracuda" after Sarah Palin's speech last week. How do these people even know such a kick ass, Guitar Hero III-worthy song?Well Ann and Nancy Wilson, the members of the band (Heart), have asked the Republican party to stop using their music. "I think it's completely unfair to be so misrepresented," Nancy Wilson told Entertainment Weekly. "I feel completely fucked over... [Barracuda] was written in the late 70s as a scathing rant against the soulless, corporate nature of the music business, particularly for women ... There's irony in Republican strategists' choice to make use of it there." Find out who else wants the campaign to stop using their music here.
Please Stop.
Men: Why are you still doing this? I mean, why do you INSIST on CONTINUING to do this?? Didn't you hear Jay-Z when he said, "And I don't wear jerseys, I'm thirty plus/Give me a crisp pair of jeans, nigga button up" -- ?!?!? I've got an addendum to the rule. If you're over the age of 5 and not presently on your way to a football game in a stadium, take that shiny ass jersey off. That goes for the dude in the photo above looking REALLY cool in his myspace picture, too. I'm not even gonna start on his crew.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
What's Really Good?
I don't know how to begin talking about the election because I have so much that I want to say about it...but I will address one thing. I watched the entire Democratic National Convention, and since you can intelligently support something only when you know the other side of it, I've also been watching the RNC. I tried to look at it without giving in to my preconceived notions about the people on that hall floor, but it's impossible. Watching it was infuriatating.
Last night, it occurred to me that the RNC differs from the DNC in one striking way, and that's its nastiness. There's really no other word for it, and if you watched Rudy's speech, you know exactly what I mean. And when people cheered, and he laughed this scary, gleeful laugh in response, it reminded me of that scene in Borat when he's talking at the rodeo -- telling people he's against gay marriage and in support of bombing the shit out of other countries, basically -- and the crowd is hooting and hollering in delight. You know there's something wrong with your party when you use 'intellectual' as an insult, i.e. "the Obama-Biden ticket is for the intellectuals and has nothing to do with us." A hard-working farmer or factory worker can be smart, you know. He can be aware of the world and recognize the capacity for us to be better and want to be a part of that process.
Yes, it was frustrating to watch the convention of people that don't agree with me. But last night bothered me on a different level, too. It really spelled out to me what the Republican party is all about. I almost felt sick, for example, when Ms. Sarah Palin mocked Barack by saying, "Al Qaeda terrorists still plot to inflict catastrophic harm on America; [Obama's] worried that someone won't read them their rights?" This, to me, confirms the fact that Repubs believe that all people who look a certain way have a certain agenda. That we as a country have a right to detain people who fit a profile that we've created, torture them without having any real information on them, and ignore any notion of human rights. That we can scare and psychologically bully people into voting for military strength alone.
I'm already on Bush's list, so I'll put myself on another one by saying this: America creates terrorists. Let's say your city was being bombed constantly by another country. You couldn't go to school or work or on a date without worrying that you might get blown up or killed by foreign soldiers who treat you like you're subhuman. You move to that country to get work or live some semblance of a life, and get randomly searched and eventually arrested for traveling or walking down the street. You get thrown in a cell, no one asks you anything apart from shit you know nothing about, no one knows where you are, and you get tortured severely by people who think it's not torture. Would you not leave that cell with some kind of hate or disdain for that country and its government? Maybe it's unsafe to say something like that in such a public space and my Dad is always telling me to watch what I say around people, but I don't believe in censoring myself to make other people comfortable. I don't believe in not saying what I think, even if I live in a country that stifles honest and informed opinions.
Anyway. Here's a video and transcript of Palin's speech if you missed it. What strikes me the most is how nasty they're being, how derisive and belittling. And, in contrast, how gracious and graceful the DNC was, both in comparison and on its own. Well the pundits and reporters are saying what a hit the speech was, and I'd love to hear your thoughts. I don't plan on blogging after the McCain speech. I think I've been pretty controversial lately and I hope I'm not scaring anyone off. Hope you don't get arrested for reading this.
Last night, it occurred to me that the RNC differs from the DNC in one striking way, and that's its nastiness. There's really no other word for it, and if you watched Rudy's speech, you know exactly what I mean. And when people cheered, and he laughed this scary, gleeful laugh in response, it reminded me of that scene in Borat when he's talking at the rodeo -- telling people he's against gay marriage and in support of bombing the shit out of other countries, basically -- and the crowd is hooting and hollering in delight. You know there's something wrong with your party when you use 'intellectual' as an insult, i.e. "the Obama-Biden ticket is for the intellectuals and has nothing to do with us." A hard-working farmer or factory worker can be smart, you know. He can be aware of the world and recognize the capacity for us to be better and want to be a part of that process.
Yes, it was frustrating to watch the convention of people that don't agree with me. But last night bothered me on a different level, too. It really spelled out to me what the Republican party is all about. I almost felt sick, for example, when Ms. Sarah Palin mocked Barack by saying, "Al Qaeda terrorists still plot to inflict catastrophic harm on America; [Obama's] worried that someone won't read them their rights?" This, to me, confirms the fact that Repubs believe that all people who look a certain way have a certain agenda. That we as a country have a right to detain people who fit a profile that we've created, torture them without having any real information on them, and ignore any notion of human rights. That we can scare and psychologically bully people into voting for military strength alone.
I'm already on Bush's list, so I'll put myself on another one by saying this: America creates terrorists. Let's say your city was being bombed constantly by another country. You couldn't go to school or work or on a date without worrying that you might get blown up or killed by foreign soldiers who treat you like you're subhuman. You move to that country to get work or live some semblance of a life, and get randomly searched and eventually arrested for traveling or walking down the street. You get thrown in a cell, no one asks you anything apart from shit you know nothing about, no one knows where you are, and you get tortured severely by people who think it's not torture. Would you not leave that cell with some kind of hate or disdain for that country and its government? Maybe it's unsafe to say something like that in such a public space and my Dad is always telling me to watch what I say around people, but I don't believe in censoring myself to make other people comfortable. I don't believe in not saying what I think, even if I live in a country that stifles honest and informed opinions.
Anyway. Here's a video and transcript of Palin's speech if you missed it. What strikes me the most is how nasty they're being, how derisive and belittling. And, in contrast, how gracious and graceful the DNC was, both in comparison and on its own. Well the pundits and reporters are saying what a hit the speech was, and I'd love to hear your thoughts. I don't plan on blogging after the McCain speech. I think I've been pretty controversial lately and I hope I'm not scaring anyone off. Hope you don't get arrested for reading this.
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