Observation #26

I'm almost sure that musicals are created especially for the enjoyment of gay people.

Look At Me Now

Oh by the way, it's been a year since I've written on my blog. I have a little black notebook that I write ideas in, and I mentally rediscovered NYC Masala in thinking about the appropriate medium through which to flesh 'em out. Lots of stuff going on this month, but hopefully I'll be able to throw something on here every once in a while. More for myself than anyone else, but thanks for reading.

Eternally yours,

VPL

Rajon Rondo

Carmex

Dear Carmex user,

Why do you use this product? I'm just trying to wrap my head around it. I understand that it's winter and you need something moisturizing for your lips. I understand that in many cases, you're a guy and don't care too much about what you put on your lips. But this stuff looks like earwax and smells like a medicated version of what I imagine earwax to smell like in a very concentrated form. When you apply this stuff to your lips and then speak to people, each and every word that comes out of your mouth smells like Carmex. If I run into you on a crowded train, this is a very unfortunate situation for me. When you dip your finger into the jar and rub in onto your lips, what do you do with the excess? Rub it on your hands, maybe? So now you have terrible-smelling breath and hands. Maybe you've just never thought about this, Carmex user. Maybe no one's felt comfortable enough to bring this to your attention. I just wanted you to know.

Sincerely,

Victoria

Street Sweepers

So I'm waiting for the bus this morning, and one of those NYC street sweepers comes along to blow dust in everyone's face. And it just occurred to me that these things serve absolutely no purpose. They're trying to do all this stupid shit to cut costs in the city and close the MTA deficit blah blah, but still have the money to power these things up, pay people to drive them, and serve zero purpose? Hmm. I'm not exaggerating, either. The street looked exactly the same before and after the sweep, except leaf and dust particles were slightly rearranged. And a few were added. I'm just saying.

Hurtin' for "Some Strange"

Has anyone read the cover story of the most recent New York mag? It's called "The Affairs of Men," and the cover shot is of a "happily married" guy lying next to some chick in lingerie that's "not his wife." Hmm.

The basic premise of Philip Weiss' piece is that men need variety, they're hard-wired to want to monopolize the sex and emotional lives of as many women as possible, and that sexual exclusivity is unnatural and unfeasible. Someone he calls a "forward-thinking friend" claims that "we make the mistake of thinking some people have a stronger will, they don't." Is it safe to say that people, and women in particular, should man up and embrace the reality of never really being enough for someone, just by virtue of not being more than one person?

It's human nature to like variety. And maybe the idea of total monogamy is in fact unrealistic. If that's the case, why is marriage a (the?) primary institution in our society? Did Indian maharajas, who married multiple wives and also kept thousands of courtesans, have it right? In the words of Kris Kristofferson, we want constant and guilt-free access to "some strange."

"Why does society consider it more moral for you to break up a marriage, go through a divorce, disrupt your children's lives maybe forever, just to be able to fuck someone with whom the fucking is going to get just as boring as it was with the first person before long?" --Susan Squire, author of I Don't

Strange that there should be such a premium placed on monogamy when there exists this universal and hovering sense of inadequacy. What kind of magic is monogamy doing that it makes us believe that all of our intellectual, sexual, and emotional needs can be met by one person?

Some interesting things in this article, if you choose not to read it for yourself:

*Average number of partners for men throughout their lives is 35. For women, it's 6.

*27% of people have fantasized about someone else while in the act with their partner.

*Men can feel perfectly happy and satisfied with their partners, and still cheat.

*A woman's affair is more likely to be long, emotional, and undetected.

"A relationship is a myth you create with each other. It isn't necessarily true, but it's meaningful. The key to that myth is that the other person is enough for you. You know in your head that one other person isn't enough for you. But if you don't honor the myth, then it crumbles."

I know this post is long and probably somewhat byzantine, but I'm wondering if we just need to completely revamp our idea of what a healthy relationship looks like. If human nature necessitates variety in all aspects of life, including love/romantic relationships/sexual partners, then we need to get real and stop seeing marriage and monogamy as the only feasible options. If human nature is equally comprised of irrationality and emotions, then things like hurt, jealousy, betrayal, etc. prevent us from being ready to move past that courting-dating-marriage-kids model. So what's the solution?