Conversational Chemistry

Have you ever had a phone conversation with someone for the first time, and the timing is just completely off? You start talking, and they've started talking at the same time. Then you stop to let them speak, but they've stopped to let you speak. Then you both start talking at the same time again. Then you stop but they keep going, so you've completely missed the first half of whatever they were saying. You both do that awkward, nervous laugh. Then there's an uncomfortable silence. Then you both start talking at the same time again. Christ!

It's not at all the case that you or the other person is especially long-winded or socially awkward. It's just that there is zero conversational chemistry there. You know what I mean?

Is It A Hoax?

I haven't spoken to anyone about this yet and I'm so curious as to what people think about this whole Joaquin Phoenix thing. In case you're not familiar with the story, Phoenix has decided to quit acting in order to pursue his music (read: rap) career. He's supposedly working on an album with Diddy, and his career thus far consists of one on-stage performance featuring an inaudible 'song,' a half-assed booty shake and his falling off the stage. As I'm sure you've seen or heard by now, he made a vacuous appearance on David Letterman a few weeks ago. He was not only supremely out of it and absurdly cryptic, but also pretty rude (like when he stuck his gum under Letterman's desk). 

Casey Affleck is reportedly making a documentary about Phoenix's transition from actor to, umm, rapper. But the rumor is that the film will actually document Joaquin's wholly absorbing bout of Andy-Kaufman-style performance art, and that this bearded rapper is just his character. I've read in some places that Affleck was backstage at that Letterman show, but Phoenix's glazed-over catatonic-ness seemed pretty real to me. But then again, I do think he's an incredibly talented actor and could pull this off convincingly, if it is in fact a hoax. 

So on one hand, he genuinely seems like he's entrenched in some gripping drug abuse. On the other, he's super talented—and isn't it weird that Affleck, a friend of Joaquin's, would stand back behind the lens while his buddy's obviously in need of some serious help? I haven't seen Two Lovers, the film that he was on Letterman to promote, but I've read in various places that he gives a riveting and poignant performance in it. Can the transition to Alice-in-Wonderland madness be so quick as to make us believe that Letterman stunt was genuine? 

Check out the clips and let me know what you think. Is the real, present-day Joaquin Phoenix picture A above, or picture B? If it's not a hoax, I think it's a terrible shame that such a capable actor is wasting away in this sudden and self-made delusion. If it is a huge joke, then it's genius. Not only is he pushing this rumor that he's a rapper, but he's performing songs, consistently appearing on talk shows and in public in character, and really just fooling the world. The documentary is slated to be released next year, so we might have to wait until then to know for sure. 

Where Are They Now?

I suppose this headline could also apply to me since I've been MIA on this blog for the past couple of weeks. But you know what? So have all of you at some point, so I have no apologies to make. 

Anyway, I was trolling the internet when I found this picture:

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. That is Lauryn Hill. This was taken on October 20 at a Williams-Sonoma store in Jersey. That is the former songstress and ex-Fugee with her three kids, posing with Martha Stewart at her book signing, looking straight up homeless. What's with those ashy ass lips? What happened to you, Lauryn?!

First Dude

If this isn't one of the most awkward interviews you've ever seen...

Nice work, Fox News! Some really penetrating investigative journalism here. My favorite excerpt: 

Greta: What did you say to [Sarah] after her [convention] speech?

Todd: 'Great speech.' 

Greta: And what did she say?

Todd: 'Thanks.' 

Catcher in the Rye

So I just finished reading "Catcher in the Rye" yesterday while coming home from work. The 1 train pulls up at 59th street and I get on, stand somewhere in the middle of the car and pull out my book. Then I notice that this guy sitting right under me is reading it too, which is kind of awkward but no big deal. Then a seat opens up -- right next to the guy. So there we are, sitting next to each other, reading the same edition of this book (with the BRIGHT ass yellow and red cover). More than a little awkward. I couldn't even concentrate. Am I obligated to somehow acknowledge that I know we're reading the same thing? Make some clever joke about what great taste he has in books? Turn to him and smile knowingly? I didn't want my eyes to go too far to my right when I was reading because I was afraid he'd think, out of his peripheral vision, that I kept looking over to see which part he was up to in the story. Then I noticed people around us looking from my cover to his, and back again. Yes people, we're reading the same book. And sitting right next to each other. Okay? The worst part was just as I was finishing the book and starting to put it back in my bag, he was getting up to get off at his stop, which totally made it look like the only reason I took my book out in the first place was because I saw HIM reading it. Perrrrfect.