Photoshop 101

What's wrong with this picture?

(Photo by Annie Leibovitz of Kate Winslet and her husband, Sam Mendes in Vanity Fair)

Is It A Hoax?

I haven't spoken to anyone about this yet and I'm so curious as to what people think about this whole Joaquin Phoenix thing. In case you're not familiar with the story, Phoenix has decided to quit acting in order to pursue his music (read: rap) career. He's supposedly working on an album with Diddy, and his career thus far consists of one on-stage performance featuring an inaudible 'song,' a half-assed booty shake and his falling off the stage. As I'm sure you've seen or heard by now, he made a vacuous appearance on David Letterman a few weeks ago. He was not only supremely out of it and absurdly cryptic, but also pretty rude (like when he stuck his gum under Letterman's desk). 

Casey Affleck is reportedly making a documentary about Phoenix's transition from actor to, umm, rapper. But the rumor is that the film will actually document Joaquin's wholly absorbing bout of Andy-Kaufman-style performance art, and that this bearded rapper is just his character. I've read in some places that Affleck was backstage at that Letterman show, but Phoenix's glazed-over catatonic-ness seemed pretty real to me. But then again, I do think he's an incredibly talented actor and could pull this off convincingly, if it is in fact a hoax. 

So on one hand, he genuinely seems like he's entrenched in some gripping drug abuse. On the other, he's super talented—and isn't it weird that Affleck, a friend of Joaquin's, would stand back behind the lens while his buddy's obviously in need of some serious help? I haven't seen Two Lovers, the film that he was on Letterman to promote, but I've read in various places that he gives a riveting and poignant performance in it. Can the transition to Alice-in-Wonderland madness be so quick as to make us believe that Letterman stunt was genuine? 

Check out the clips and let me know what you think. Is the real, present-day Joaquin Phoenix picture A above, or picture B? If it's not a hoax, I think it's a terrible shame that such a capable actor is wasting away in this sudden and self-made delusion. If it is a huge joke, then it's genius. Not only is he pushing this rumor that he's a rapper, but he's performing songs, consistently appearing on talk shows and in public in character, and really just fooling the world. The documentary is slated to be released next year, so we might have to wait until then to know for sure. 

Happy New Year!

Well it looks like this is my first post since last year, so happy 2009! And MLK Day! And Valentine's Day! And President's Day!

So let's see what's been happening.

1. I still hate my job. But lately I've been making some proactive moves and hoping they work out for the best.

2. Winter is STILL here!! Are you kidding me?

3. Chris Brown is a woman-beater. And that Rihanna photo is not that bad. She would look like that if she went to sleep with mad chapped lips and you caught her and took a really close shot. Yeah, I said it.

4. Barack Obama is President! Here's a lovely little collection of quotes from his memoir, Dreams of My Father, including "you ain't my bitch, nigga!"

5. Michelle Obama is on the March issue of Vogue, looking great. She's only the second first lady to be on the cover. (The first? HRC...sssss!)

6. I saw my brother perform with his little band at a concert thingy the other week and was way more impressed than I thought I'd be.

7. I got yelled at this past weekend. That hasn't happened to me in a while and I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

8. Spring is almost here. Anyone taking any fun trips? Or is everyone too poor at the moment? Speaking of which...

9. The economy still really sucks. It hasn't hit me directly and I'm hoping that it continues to stay the hell away from me.

10. Chimpanzees KILL people!! Seriously. And what's up with that Indian guy in the lottery commercial saying, "orangootang" in the thickest Bombay back alley accent I've ever heard?

11. Ginger snaps from Whole Foods are the most delicious little delights ever. They're heart-shaped and full of ginger love.

12. This post is dedicated to Dmitry, Chris and Eleonore who, in their own ways, pushed me to write on this thing again.

13. Follow me on Twitter! I hated it at first but I'm now discovering its virtues. Try it.

14. Still reading "The Moor's Last Sigh," but almost done. Salman Rushdie is a genius and I'm so jealous of his ability to write like he's spinning some entirely different material out of language. Next is "The Reader." Everyone is saying the movie sucked but I quite liked it. Any suggestions for a good (great) book when that's done?

15. I'm blogging again!(?) Maybe. We'll see.

A Little Holiday Spirit for That Ass

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Bin Laden on Family Guy

I was watching Family Guy last night and this had me laughing out loud. Mostly because it was so offensive. Enjoy.

Street Sweepers

So I'm waiting for the bus this morning, and one of those NYC street sweepers comes along to blow dust in everyone's face. And it just occurred to me that these things serve absolutely no purpose. They're trying to do all this stupid shit to cut costs in the city and close the MTA deficit blah blah, but still have the money to power these things up, pay people to drive them, and serve zero purpose? Hmm. I'm not exaggerating, either. The street looked exactly the same before and after the sweep, except leaf and dust particles were slightly rearranged. And a few were added. I'm just saying.

"This Watch is Exactly Two Days Slow."

Life has been a very strange and unsettling place for me during the past couple of months, kinda like falling through the Rabbit Hole and never quite hitting the bottom. In related news, and on a happier note, Tim Burton is shooting his version of "Alice in Wonderland" in Cornwall, England at this very moment. Using what Burton did with Batman as a reference, I cannot WAIT to see this. Unfortunately, it comes out in 2010. Lindsay Lohan really wanted the part of Alice, but (thank God) she lost it to some Australian wench. The flick will feature, among others, Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen, and the best news of all...Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter! It's supposed to be a rather dark version of the role, which both Johnny and Burton are amazing at constructing. Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite books and movies, and this looks like it's gonna be GOOD. Check out a mock up of Depp as the Mad Hatter below. What do you think? Will you go and see this?