Summer Rapture

Real Talk: MTA

I saw this poster in the 2 train Wall Street station on Friday evening, fashioned after the MTA service change announcements:

If you can't read the bottom, it says:

How does this affect my trip?
You're not going anywhere.

Why is service being changed?
We are making service cuts because we want to screw you and make you think there's nothing you can do about it.

I like the campaign; it obviously voices what a lot of us are thinking when it comes to the weak ass MTA. This poster says "we want to make you think there's nothing you can do about it," but what is there to do about it besides complain? Are there any other, more proactive steps we can take that don't require taking time off from work to protest or waiting in line for lifetimes in some hostile government office? I can't think of any, and it does seem like there's nothing you can do about terrible service and higher MetroCard prices because people HAVE to use public transportation to get to work. Alternatives?

I'm SADS

My patio:

The A Train is a Zoo.

I've been taking the A train every day this summer for work and let me just say...once those doors go "bing bong" and close behind you, welcome to the circus. I've seen the following so far:

-a big bald black guy SCREAMING Bible verses and telling everyone that he knows people get mad when he preaches, but he'll do it anyway

-a black woman sitting right behind me reading verses from the Bible in a weird monotonous voice while I'm trying to read at 8 in the morning

-multiple young men selling candy for $1 -- "NOT for any basketball team, but to have a little money in my pocket and stay off the streets." I actually like this one because they've stepped up their game and now stock Welch's fruit snacks. I can dig it.

-young men with a boombox playing loud music, clapping, announcing "It's showtime! It's showtime!" and proceeding to back flips and such up and down the train car

-the conductor saying, "This has been the A experience. Have an interesting day" as people exit when the doors open at the various stops

There's also this weird thing I see every morning inside the Chambers Street station on the A. When I get off the train and walk towards the exit, there are always these two women sitting on those gross wooden platform seats with one seat between them. On that seat, there's a spread of slices of pound cake, muffins, bread, and other random stuff and the two women are feasting. I came home really late last night from an event in the area and I'm pretty sure I saw one of those women sleeping on that same platform bench. What's the story there?

Anyway...be careful on the A, man. There's all kinds of ridiculous shit happening on there.

Poor Parenting

It's been a while since I wrote a real post. Honestly, Twitter makes it a little harder to blog because you can just say what you need to say without going into tedious detail, which is nice sometimes. But they're two very different media and I need to start learning how to funnel information in those two different ways.

Anyway, I've noticed a trend lately. Maybe I've been seeing it all my life and just now really acknowledging it, but there are a lot of shamelessly terrible parents out there in the world. I went to the Belmont Fair a few weeks ago and had to start counting the number of kids getting yoked up by their mothers -- it was like I was standing in a circle surrounded by kids getting smacked/snuffed/yanked by IRATE women. Then I saw some kid getting cursed the fuck out by his Mom on the street the other day. I mean he was getting it. I was embarrassed for him. She was like, "Shut the fuck up! Just shut your fucking mouth! I don't wanna hear nunna that cryin' BULLshit!" And that was way less funny to me because I don't believe you should ever, ever speak to a child like that. I thought it was just a minority thing but then I was on the train last week and this little white kid gets on with his Mom and starts spazzing out hardcore, screaming like bloody murder about how he wants a seat and he "just can't stand" anymore. He was twisting and writhing and pushing himself into the people around him (myself included) and the woman was just standing there in this monotonous voice like, "Calm down. Everyone wants a seat. Shhh. Stop that. A few more stops. Just relax." I was like, are you kidding me?! THAT was probably the one kid that should have gotten the "Just shut your fucking mouth" treatment.

It's interesting to me that I only see women doing this. I mean I know children are taken care of by their mothers most of the time, so statistically it makes sense, but I wonder if there's something else behind it. Maybe it's the frustration of being a single mother that these women are forcing their children to bear the brunt of? Or that women are becoming more and more aggressive and angry these days (which I have read about). Or that men are less willing to be so public about their anger since it will more likely be viewed as abuse. Is this something you've noticed? Any other theories you can throw out?

Happy Belated Phagwah

The Phagwah parade was this past Sunday in Queens. It's a very celebratory Hindu holiday and people participate by throwing a lot of colorful powder and dyed water all over each other. Luckily it wasn't freezing out because somehow I ended up getting a bottle of grape soda dumped on me at some point. Wild. Anyway, here are before and after photos. You can find the rest on Facebook. And yeah, I know I look kinda like a dude. But I had to wear clothes I wouldn't miss. 

Hard Times

Months ago, The Economist reported that we were in a depression, not a recession. More and more financial analysts are saying that the current state of the economy reflects something bigger than just a recession.  This morning on the news, I heard that Warren Buffet is saying that the economy is going to continue to be "in shambles" throughout 2009, and probably well beyond that. 

So let's take this opportunity to make a prediction. I'm guessing that the economy will start stabilizing around March 2010, and then get itself back on track by the following June. Put your prediction down in writing here, and then we'll check back in a year to see who's the closest. That person will then get a prize (maybe dinner if the majority of us are still employed by then). Place your bets. 

Street Sweepers

So I'm waiting for the bus this morning, and one of those NYC street sweepers comes along to blow dust in everyone's face. And it just occurred to me that these things serve absolutely no purpose. They're trying to do all this stupid shit to cut costs in the city and close the MTA deficit blah blah, but still have the money to power these things up, pay people to drive them, and serve zero purpose? Hmm. I'm not exaggerating, either. The street looked exactly the same before and after the sweep, except leaf and dust particles were slightly rearranged. And a few were added. I'm just saying.

Christmas in July

Dear Walmart & Rite-Aid, 

I love what you've done with your Halloween aisles. But...I'm just not ready yet. See you in a few weeks. 

     John

Above is a recent away message from one of my friends. Like him, I'm bewildered as to why I need to be looking at Halloween candy in September. I remember going grocery shopping in August, walking into Food Emporium, and being greeted by shelves upon shelves of bite-sized treats. Big, orange, plastic packages of chocolately goodness. With pumpkins on them. And bats. And ghosts. In August. 

Is this an American thing? Why sweet Jesus am I seeing paper cut-outs of pilgrims pasted on the front doors of houses in my neighborhood? Can't you people at least have the decency to wait until Halloween passes before thinking about Thanksgiving?! I know you're anxious, but damn. Ride it out, son. Ride it out. 

P.S. The picture of that baby above was taken on a sweltering July afternoon. 

Coney Island Gets Controversial

On 12th Street off Surf Avenue, you'll bump into this side show. If you climb to the top of the concrete steps, put a dollar into the little hole that the red arrow is pointing to and peek through the barred window, you'll see something you probably wouldn't expect to see on Coney Island. The show, created by artist Steve Powers, is called the "Waterboard Thrill Ride," and depicts Spongebob on the outside wall getting waterboarded by Squidworth and exclaiming, "It don't Gitmo better!" Pretty provocative stuff.

Put your dollar into the slot and a reenactment of a torture scene comes alive before your curious little eyes. There's literally a guy in a black hood pouring water into the mouth and nostrils of a figure in an orange jumpsuit for fifteen seconds.


A few things intrigue me about this. First, the juxtaposition of the scene you're watching through the bars with the backdrop of kids, the beach, rides, and hot dogs is pretty striking. Same kind of idea behind using a popular and notoriously naive cartoon character to advertise the show. And third, the following statement made by the artist (published in the Times today): "What's more obscene, the official position that waterboarding is not torture, or our official position that it's a thrill ride?"

What do you think? Is this an inappropriate show for Coney Island? Is the artist somehow trivializing or exploiting the torture method and/or victims of waterboarding?

The Complicated Art of Satire

Here's illustrator Barry Blitt's illustration on this week's cover of the New Yorker:




It's obviously an attempt at satire and not a reflection of the magazine's actual opinion of the Obamas (or at least let's hope not), so I won't even address the people who are offended by the depiction.

I guess the question is whether or not you think the cover is successful. Most Americans are pretty dumb and do not understand the concept of satire, so it could be a failure in the sense that it didn't take that into consideration. But you could also say that the magazine addresses a specific audience, a more "intellectual" and urbane one, so it's fine because the people who were supposed to get it, did.

One opinion I read from a Slate commenter kind of intrigued me:

"Any satire that can be easily used to further the viewpoint it's trying to satirize, is, by definition, a failure. The New Yorker cover fails abysmally."

Interesting way of looking at satire. What do you think? Was this cover a success? Should a magazine only pander to its intended demographic?

Weekly Weigh-In

Do you get annoyed when people read over your shoulder? For example, if you're on the train and you open up the newspaper and someone standing behind you or sitting next to you starts reading your paper, too.

Modern Art

Olafur Eliasson, with the Public Art Fund, has created four man-made 'waterfalls' located across the Manhattan shoreline. The 'art' installment will be on view until October 13th and is called "The New York City Waterfalls." Original, huh? The falls are on every day, from morning until 10 PM, but will automatically shut off if there's really strong wind. They measure from 90 to 120 feet long and are supposed to incorporate building elements that are unique to New York (scaffolding is the backbone of each structure). You can find them at the following locations:

-Under the Brooklyn Bridge (on the Brooklyn side)
-Between Piers 4 and 5 in Brooklyn (west of the Brooklyn Heights Promenade)
-Pier 35 in Manhattan (adjacent to South Street at Rutgers Street)
-The north shore of Governor's Island



Says the Times of the exhibit, "they could almost fool King Kong into thinking he is back home. They are the remnants of a primordial Eden, beautiful, uncanny signs of a natural nonurban past that the city never had." They also try to make some vague Walt Whitman connection that doesn't really work.

I feel like this is more architecture than art, but I guess some could argue that those two things are inevitably connected. What do you think?

Shake Shack

I had this past Friday off and decided to do something epic with it. Since it was really nice out and I'd been craving a burger for weeks, I went to Shake Shack. I didn't get a portobello burger (deep-fried and stuffed with cheese) or anything like that, either. I broke my no-beef rule and ordered me up a cheeseburger. Two of them. And fries. And a frozen custard. And an Arnold Palmer (half iced tea, half lemonade). Because if you're gonna do it, you have to do it right.

I'd heard about the legendary lines, and when I got there it was snaking through the park. It moved along pretty quickly, though, considering that they make the burgers right when you order them. They also have a bee-line, which is wayyy shorter, but you can only get on it if you're ordering a concrete, drinks or frozen custard. I had some decent entertainment, though. There was some kid, whose parents were in front of us in line, who was just going nuts the whole time. He threw himself in the dirt and then started screaming. He kicked his little brother's stroller and then started bawling. He heard his Mom ordering burgers and howled "mayonaise and ketchup!!!!" until he was red in the face and crying hysterically. When I was standing towards the end of line, some guy walked past yelling, "trust me, it's not worth it!" But fuck that guy because yes, it was.


The burger was cooked to juicy perfection. I've never had anything that was less than well done, but this was medium-well leaning towards medium. The fries were good--evenly cooked and crispy. I had a chocolate custard which was yum (the flavor of the day was blackberry which I wasn't that into). Very nice texture, like nothing I've had before. The Arnold Palmer was good but I think a burger like that needed a Coke with a lot of ice. I'll try that next time, and maybe a concrete, too. But I'm definitely sticking with the single cheeseburger -- no doubles, mushroom burgs, or hot dogs. I'll also eat much slower next time (I was starving by the time I finally got down to Chelsea and conquered the line).

I guess I don't have much to compare it to since this was my first real beef burger, but I went with my boyfriend who says it's the best burger he's ever had, so I feel validated. Oh, and the freakin' buns are amazing. I'm not sure what they do to them. It's owned by Danny Meyer, who also owns Tabla (across the street on the corner of Madison and 23rd), The Modern, Blue Smoke, and Union Square Café among others. So I guess Shake Shack is the fine dining version of fast food, but just as deliciously greasy as the real deal.

Have you ever been to Shake Shack? If so, tell me what they do to the buns. If not, I hope this review makes you want to go because it's all that and a bag of chips.

The View From My Floor

This was taken the other day, after it rained. Kinda cool. That's the edge of Central Park and the river in the background. One nice thing about work, I guess. (Click on it to get the full effect.)

Has This Ever Happened to You?

You're standing on a street corner, waiting for the light to change so you can cross. You see the light's about to go yellow, and you edge up off the curb. The person next to you edges up, too. You take another step. So does he. You stay put. He doesn't move. You step ahead of him. He steps ahead of you. Or...

You're in your car, waiting at a red light. Again, you see the other light about to go yellow, so you gently lift your foot off the brakes. The car next to you does the same thing. You stop. He stops. You start going through the light, he follows.

...Are we in some kind of race I don't know about? You just HAVE to be in front of me? You can't see me move without doing it, too? This also happens when I'm waiting for the train sometimes. I usually stand in a spot at which I know there will be a set of doors to open up right in front of me. To my dismay, other people are privvy to this strategy. The train starts coming, I start moving closer to that yellow line, and the six people around me scramble to get there, too. I could understand if you did it first. But would you have done it if you didn't see me getting there first? My guess is no.

The strangest part is that when I'm the one to move first, I become infuriated when people edge up behind me. "What the HELL is this guy's problem?!," I seethe. I've even yelled "Back up off me" in my head a few times. But when someone else is the first, I feel an irresistable urge to follow. I just. can't. stop. Am I alone here?