I'm SADS

My patio:

Google Buzz

I hate Google Buzz. Here's why:

1. People are linking their Buzz to their Twitter accounts, which means I have to be doubly aware of what they're eating for breakfast, how they're spending their evenings, and how they feel about...everything.

2. You have to constantly be at your computer to follow what's happening, otherwise everything condenses and you have to expand each post to see how they developed. And it's always the original comment that's visible, as opposed to the most recent, which means I'm looking at the same thing all day unless I expand.

3. I hate seeing unread messages in my inbox. Google counts the number of new posts and puts it in bold parenthesis next to "Buzz," right under my e-mail, MAKING me click on it to get rid of the number.

4. I don't need to know EVERYTHING that's happening in EVERYONE'S life ALL the time. Buzz just feels like sensory overload to me.

5. I don't need to catch up with people while checking my e-mail. Sometimes, I just want to check my e-mail.

I know this makes me sound like a curmudgeon, and I do use Twitter, but sparingly. Then again, people felt this away about pretty much every staple technology that exists today. People thought the radio was sensory overload. They thought TV was going to melt brains (which it sort of does). They thought the internet would make people's heads explode. But in most cases, these things have made our lives a lot easier, and helped us (arguably) feel more connected to each other. I'm wondering if this is just another of those things, or if we've finally hit a wall and it really is enough at this point. I'm leaning towards the latter.

Christmas in July

Dear Walmart & Rite-Aid, 

I love what you've done with your Halloween aisles. But...I'm just not ready yet. See you in a few weeks. 

     John

Above is a recent away message from one of my friends. Like him, I'm bewildered as to why I need to be looking at Halloween candy in September. I remember going grocery shopping in August, walking into Food Emporium, and being greeted by shelves upon shelves of bite-sized treats. Big, orange, plastic packages of chocolately goodness. With pumpkins on them. And bats. And ghosts. In August. 

Is this an American thing? Why sweet Jesus am I seeing paper cut-outs of pilgrims pasted on the front doors of houses in my neighborhood? Can't you people at least have the decency to wait until Halloween passes before thinking about Thanksgiving?! I know you're anxious, but damn. Ride it out, son. Ride it out. 

P.S. The picture of that baby above was taken on a sweltering July afternoon. 

Stop Fronting!

At the risk of pulling a Dmitry by posting video after video with no text for weeks at a time in order to assuage my guilt for not blogging, I have a question about this one. Why do marketing agencies insist on trying to make people believe that dorm rooms look like hotels in heaven? Students have likely visited campuses, children don't care about college, and grown-ups have been to college and know what real dorm rooms look like, so who exactly are they trying to fool?



Maybe I'm wrong and roommates burst out into spontaneous-but-choreographed dance sequences upon meeting, and proceed to decorate their spaces sans school-commissioned furniture. In which case you screwed me, Colgate. You screwed me.

Weekly Weigh-In

Do you get annoyed when people read over your shoulder? For example, if you're on the train and you open up the newspaper and someone standing behind you or sitting next to you starts reading your paper, too.

10 Things I Hate About You, Part I

"Hate" is a strong word, so I'm often hit with a tinge of regret right after blurting out that I hate something or someone. In most cases, I hate WHEN people doing something, as opposed to PEOPLE who do it. But sometimes, I do hate people. Oh yea I do. Here are some examples of the difference:


I hate when people yawn without covering their mouths. If they're sitting across from me on the train, I feel the need to turn sideways and count to ten lest their yawn breath wafts into my nostrils and/or mouth.
I hate people who spit on the street. I really hate people who make that noise right before they do it. You know, to summon it all up. Disgusting.

I hate when people judge other people based on one thing they know or may have heard about that person.
I hate people who form opinions without taking the time to acquire information.

I hate when people invade my personal space and, beyond every notion of social propriety, getthisclose to talk to me.
I hate people who stink and/or have terrible breath and have the gall to do the aforementioned.

I hate when people talk in the movies.
I hate people who bring their small/crying/don't even understand English yet babies to the movies. What the fuck are you thinking? Hmm?

I hate when people tYpe LiKe tHis On AiM oR iN eMaiLs (Yep, there are people who still do this dumb shit.)
I hate people who misspell things on purpose. Especially when the altered spelling does nothing apart from making you look retarded and elongating the word.

Catch my drift? You may know that it doesn't take much to annoy me, so look out for sequels.