iTampon

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Hard Times

Months ago, The Economist reported that we were in a depression, not a recession. More and more financial analysts are saying that the current state of the economy reflects something bigger than just a recession.  This morning on the news, I heard that Warren Buffet is saying that the economy is going to continue to be "in shambles" throughout 2009, and probably well beyond that. 

So let's take this opportunity to make a prediction. I'm guessing that the economy will start stabilizing around March 2010, and then get itself back on track by the following June. Put your prediction down in writing here, and then we'll check back in a year to see who's the closest. That person will then get a prize (maybe dinner if the majority of us are still employed by then). Place your bets. 

Christmas in July

Dear Walmart & Rite-Aid, 

I love what you've done with your Halloween aisles. But...I'm just not ready yet. See you in a few weeks. 

     John

Above is a recent away message from one of my friends. Like him, I'm bewildered as to why I need to be looking at Halloween candy in September. I remember going grocery shopping in August, walking into Food Emporium, and being greeted by shelves upon shelves of bite-sized treats. Big, orange, plastic packages of chocolately goodness. With pumpkins on them. And bats. And ghosts. In August. 

Is this an American thing? Why sweet Jesus am I seeing paper cut-outs of pilgrims pasted on the front doors of houses in my neighborhood? Can't you people at least have the decency to wait until Halloween passes before thinking about Thanksgiving?! I know you're anxious, but damn. Ride it out, son. Ride it out. 

P.S. The picture of that baby above was taken on a sweltering July afternoon. 

Please Stop.

Men: Why are you still doing this? I mean, why do you INSIST on CONTINUING to do this?? Didn't you hear Jay-Z when he said, "And I don't wear jerseys, I'm thirty plus/Give me a crisp pair of jeans, nigga button up" -- ?!?!? I've got an addendum to the rule. If you're over the age of 5 and not presently on your way to a football game in a stadium, take that shiny ass jersey off. That goes for the dude in the photo above looking REALLY cool in his myspace picture, too. I'm not even gonna start on his crew.