The A Train is a Zoo.

I've been taking the A train every day this summer for work and let me just say...once those doors go "bing bong" and close behind you, welcome to the circus. I've seen the following so far:

-a big bald black guy SCREAMING Bible verses and telling everyone that he knows people get mad when he preaches, but he'll do it anyway

-a black woman sitting right behind me reading verses from the Bible in a weird monotonous voice while I'm trying to read at 8 in the morning

-multiple young men selling candy for $1 -- "NOT for any basketball team, but to have a little money in my pocket and stay off the streets." I actually like this one because they've stepped up their game and now stock Welch's fruit snacks. I can dig it.

-young men with a boombox playing loud music, clapping, announcing "It's showtime! It's showtime!" and proceeding to back flips and such up and down the train car

-the conductor saying, "This has been the A experience. Have an interesting day" as people exit when the doors open at the various stops

There's also this weird thing I see every morning inside the Chambers Street station on the A. When I get off the train and walk towards the exit, there are always these two women sitting on those gross wooden platform seats with one seat between them. On that seat, there's a spread of slices of pound cake, muffins, bread, and other random stuff and the two women are feasting. I came home really late last night from an event in the area and I'm pretty sure I saw one of those women sleeping on that same platform bench. What's the story there?

Anyway...be careful on the A, man. There's all kinds of ridiculous shit happening on there.

Extra Baggage

Today one of those kids was selling candy on the train and I bought some Welch's Fruit Snacks to support his entrepreneurial spirit. I opened the bag and it's less than a quarter full. We all know when we buy a bag of chips or something that it's gonna be less than half full, but why do companies do it? Like, the jig is up. We know how much is in there by now. It's just tons of extra packaging -- which, along with being nonsensical and annoying, is also bad for the environment. Is there anything we can do to get companies to size the packaging so that it's appropriate for the content?

Love & Texting

Provoking piece in the Styles section of the Times today. They've been doing this "Modern Love" series for a while and this column was one of the more interesting installments I've read so far. It's about an American student who moved to Thailand to teach English shortly after graduating from college. One of her students (college-aged) fell in love with her and the story is about their interaction while there and then after she returned to the States. An excerpt:

Text messaging and chatting are the modus operandi, and everybody seems to consider it a tragedy of modern romance that these forms of communication make it so frighteningly easy to say nothing at all, to forge a relationship out of little more than a few well-timed expressions: “Where r u?” and “Want to meet up?” Maybe...expressiveness seems strange to us, or pathetic. But it has something to teach us, too, about the note of cowardice embedded in our romantic culture, about the intensity of emotion we have a right to, about everything we could say, but don’t.

...Word.

Poor Parenting

It's been a while since I wrote a real post. Honestly, Twitter makes it a little harder to blog because you can just say what you need to say without going into tedious detail, which is nice sometimes. But they're two very different media and I need to start learning how to funnel information in those two different ways.

Anyway, I've noticed a trend lately. Maybe I've been seeing it all my life and just now really acknowledging it, but there are a lot of shamelessly terrible parents out there in the world. I went to the Belmont Fair a few weeks ago and had to start counting the number of kids getting yoked up by their mothers -- it was like I was standing in a circle surrounded by kids getting smacked/snuffed/yanked by IRATE women. Then I saw some kid getting cursed the fuck out by his Mom on the street the other day. I mean he was getting it. I was embarrassed for him. She was like, "Shut the fuck up! Just shut your fucking mouth! I don't wanna hear nunna that cryin' BULLshit!" And that was way less funny to me because I don't believe you should ever, ever speak to a child like that. I thought it was just a minority thing but then I was on the train last week and this little white kid gets on with his Mom and starts spazzing out hardcore, screaming like bloody murder about how he wants a seat and he "just can't stand" anymore. He was twisting and writhing and pushing himself into the people around him (myself included) and the woman was just standing there in this monotonous voice like, "Calm down. Everyone wants a seat. Shhh. Stop that. A few more stops. Just relax." I was like, are you kidding me?! THAT was probably the one kid that should have gotten the "Just shut your fucking mouth" treatment.

It's interesting to me that I only see women doing this. I mean I know children are taken care of by their mothers most of the time, so statistically it makes sense, but I wonder if there's something else behind it. Maybe it's the frustration of being a single mother that these women are forcing their children to bear the brunt of? Or that women are becoming more and more aggressive and angry these days (which I have read about). Or that men are less willing to be so public about their anger since it will more likely be viewed as abuse. Is this something you've noticed? Any other theories you can throw out?

Road Head

I find this illustration hiLArious for some reason. I think I found it in a Men's Health or Esquire article about things to do while driving that are illegal but forgivable. I dragged it onto my desktop and it's kind of been sitting here for a while. It's inappropriate to set as my desktop background and it was too funny to delete, so I thought I'd just post it. Enjoy.

Happy Anniversary, NYCM

I just realized that I started this blog a year ago. I can't believe it's been a full year! We've had some ups and downs, some lulls and some highs, but we're still here. I've wanted to give up a few times. More than I'd like to admit. But it's been a year! Anyway, here's my last web piece for Cosmopolitan magazine, ever. Enjoy! (sarcasm)

Facebook Kills Relationships

Throughout my time on Facebook, I've run into more than a few little mishaps and argument starters that are unique to this website alone. It's a purely generational thing, and I wonder if it's more or less universal than I think it is. Before Gen Y, you could go to parties, take photos, be in relationships, engage in harmless flirting -- and no one would be any the wiser. But now, there is a ridiculous amount of access to people, their social lives, their relationships, and other rather intimate details. Is this something that every generation after us will have to deal with? I guess with them it'll just be the way things are, since they'll have actually grown up knowing no other way. People get into fights about whether or not to post "in a relationship" on their pages, over sketchy wall posts, out-of-context photos, and much more. I think Facebook is great in terms of keeping track of people, staying in touch, being in the loop and all that. But in terms of relationships, I think it's totally detrimental. Thoughts?

Lil Mama Had a Swag Like Mine

Okay, this is going to be my last video post for a while, semi-promise. I usually hate covers, but I'm diggin' this one. What do you think?

UPDATE: (Click on the link, song starts around 2:18 -- embedded video is no longer available).

Happy Belated Phagwah

The Phagwah parade was this past Sunday in Queens. It's a very celebratory Hindu holiday and people participate by throwing a lot of colorful powder and dyed water all over each other. Luckily it wasn't freezing out because somehow I ended up getting a bottle of grape soda dumped on me at some point. Wild. Anyway, here are before and after photos. You can find the rest on Facebook. And yeah, I know I look kinda like a dude. But I had to wear clothes I wouldn't miss. 

One of Those Days

I feel overwhelmed today. I have so much work to get done, and with all these people getting laid off here, the work keeps getting redistributed among those of us left. I just inherited a ton of work on top of the stuff I already have going on, and I'm just barely treading water. I know I need to change a bunch of things at this point in my life, but the process of taking it all on is daunting. Today's one of those days that it seems way more scary than exciting.

Anyway, I normally wouldn't post something like this but I had an interview today. It's for a part time job that starts next month and ends in August. It might seem like a stupid thing to do -- giving up a solid job for something so temporary in this economic climate. But I'm in desperate need of a change, and a break, and some time to think and get my shit together. I'm too young to be stuck in something I don't enjoy or feel good about, and I think I just need to make a quick, drastic move to force myself out. I read somewhere that over 70% of Americans are miserable in their jobs. There's no reason to complain and complain if you don't plan on actively doing anything to change the situation, and I refuse to be one of that 70% - stuck, unhappy, stagnant. Hayyyyl nah. Anyway...just needed to vent.

Mario and the Princess

Just thought this was a really cool rendering of the classic Nintendo couple. 

Hard Times

Months ago, The Economist reported that we were in a depression, not a recession. More and more financial analysts are saying that the current state of the economy reflects something bigger than just a recession.  This morning on the news, I heard that Warren Buffet is saying that the economy is going to continue to be "in shambles" throughout 2009, and probably well beyond that. 

So let's take this opportunity to make a prediction. I'm guessing that the economy will start stabilizing around March 2010, and then get itself back on track by the following June. Put your prediction down in writing here, and then we'll check back in a year to see who's the closest. That person will then get a prize (maybe dinner if the majority of us are still employed by then). Place your bets. 

Photoshop 101

What's wrong with this picture?

(Photo by Annie Leibovitz of Kate Winslet and her husband, Sam Mendes in Vanity Fair)

Is It A Hoax?

I haven't spoken to anyone about this yet and I'm so curious as to what people think about this whole Joaquin Phoenix thing. In case you're not familiar with the story, Phoenix has decided to quit acting in order to pursue his music (read: rap) career. He's supposedly working on an album with Diddy, and his career thus far consists of one on-stage performance featuring an inaudible 'song,' a half-assed booty shake and his falling off the stage. As I'm sure you've seen or heard by now, he made a vacuous appearance on David Letterman a few weeks ago. He was not only supremely out of it and absurdly cryptic, but also pretty rude (like when he stuck his gum under Letterman's desk). 

Casey Affleck is reportedly making a documentary about Phoenix's transition from actor to, umm, rapper. But the rumor is that the film will actually document Joaquin's wholly absorbing bout of Andy-Kaufman-style performance art, and that this bearded rapper is just his character. I've read in some places that Affleck was backstage at that Letterman show, but Phoenix's glazed-over catatonic-ness seemed pretty real to me. But then again, I do think he's an incredibly talented actor and could pull this off convincingly, if it is in fact a hoax. 

So on one hand, he genuinely seems like he's entrenched in some gripping drug abuse. On the other, he's super talented—and isn't it weird that Affleck, a friend of Joaquin's, would stand back behind the lens while his buddy's obviously in need of some serious help? I haven't seen Two Lovers, the film that he was on Letterman to promote, but I've read in various places that he gives a riveting and poignant performance in it. Can the transition to Alice-in-Wonderland madness be so quick as to make us believe that Letterman stunt was genuine? 

Check out the clips and let me know what you think. Is the real, present-day Joaquin Phoenix picture A above, or picture B? If it's not a hoax, I think it's a terrible shame that such a capable actor is wasting away in this sudden and self-made delusion. If it is a huge joke, then it's genius. Not only is he pushing this rumor that he's a rapper, but he's performing songs, consistently appearing on talk shows and in public in character, and really just fooling the world. The documentary is slated to be released next year, so we might have to wait until then to know for sure. 

Happy New Year!

Well it looks like this is my first post since last year, so happy 2009! And MLK Day! And Valentine's Day! And President's Day!

So let's see what's been happening.

1. I still hate my job. But lately I've been making some proactive moves and hoping they work out for the best.

2. Winter is STILL here!! Are you kidding me?

3. Chris Brown is a woman-beater. And that Rihanna photo is not that bad. She would look like that if she went to sleep with mad chapped lips and you caught her and took a really close shot. Yeah, I said it.

4. Barack Obama is President! Here's a lovely little collection of quotes from his memoir, Dreams of My Father, including "you ain't my bitch, nigga!"

5. Michelle Obama is on the March issue of Vogue, looking great. She's only the second first lady to be on the cover. (The first? HRC...sssss!)

6. I saw my brother perform with his little band at a concert thingy the other week and was way more impressed than I thought I'd be.

7. I got yelled at this past weekend. That hasn't happened to me in a while and I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

8. Spring is almost here. Anyone taking any fun trips? Or is everyone too poor at the moment? Speaking of which...

9. The economy still really sucks. It hasn't hit me directly and I'm hoping that it continues to stay the hell away from me.

10. Chimpanzees KILL people!! Seriously. And what's up with that Indian guy in the lottery commercial saying, "orangootang" in the thickest Bombay back alley accent I've ever heard?

11. Ginger snaps from Whole Foods are the most delicious little delights ever. They're heart-shaped and full of ginger love.

12. This post is dedicated to Dmitry, Chris and Eleonore who, in their own ways, pushed me to write on this thing again.

13. Follow me on Twitter! I hated it at first but I'm now discovering its virtues. Try it.

14. Still reading "The Moor's Last Sigh," but almost done. Salman Rushdie is a genius and I'm so jealous of his ability to write like he's spinning some entirely different material out of language. Next is "The Reader." Everyone is saying the movie sucked but I quite liked it. Any suggestions for a good (great) book when that's done?

15. I'm blogging again!(?) Maybe. We'll see.