A Little Holiday Spirit for That Ass

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Bin Laden on Family Guy

I was watching Family Guy last night and this had me laughing out loud. Mostly because it was so offensive. Enjoy.

Street Sweepers

So I'm waiting for the bus this morning, and one of those NYC street sweepers comes along to blow dust in everyone's face. And it just occurred to me that these things serve absolutely no purpose. They're trying to do all this stupid shit to cut costs in the city and close the MTA deficit blah blah, but still have the money to power these things up, pay people to drive them, and serve zero purpose? Hmm. I'm not exaggerating, either. The street looked exactly the same before and after the sweep, except leaf and dust particles were slightly rearranged. And a few were added. I'm just saying.

"This Watch is Exactly Two Days Slow."

Life has been a very strange and unsettling place for me during the past couple of months, kinda like falling through the Rabbit Hole and never quite hitting the bottom. In related news, and on a happier note, Tim Burton is shooting his version of "Alice in Wonderland" in Cornwall, England at this very moment. Using what Burton did with Batman as a reference, I cannot WAIT to see this. Unfortunately, it comes out in 2010. Lindsay Lohan really wanted the part of Alice, but (thank God) she lost it to some Australian wench. The flick will feature, among others, Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen, and the best news of all...Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter! It's supposed to be a rather dark version of the role, which both Johnny and Burton are amazing at constructing. Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite books and movies, and this looks like it's gonna be GOOD. Check out a mock up of Depp as the Mad Hatter below. What do you think? Will you go and see this?

Caught on Tape

"So when Brian Williams is asking me about what's a personal thing that you've done [that's green], and I say, you know, 'Well, I planted a bunch of trees,' and he says, 'I'm talking about personal.' What I'm thinking in my head is, 'Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I fucking changed the light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective.'" -- Barack Obama

Where Are They Now?

I suppose this headline could also apply to me since I've been MIA on this blog for the past couple of weeks. But you know what? So have all of you at some point, so I have no apologies to make. 

Anyway, I was trolling the internet when I found this picture:

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. That is Lauryn Hill. This was taken on October 20 at a Williams-Sonoma store in Jersey. That is the former songstress and ex-Fugee with her three kids, posing with Martha Stewart at her book signing, looking straight up homeless. What's with those ashy ass lips? What happened to you, Lauryn?!

Sarah Palin's Facebook Page

Click on the image for a larger, readable version. Check out everything, her groups, friends, wall posts, everything. 

Look-Alikes

It's in the arms, people. It's in the arms. 

New Debate Rule

From the Onion:

OXFORD, MS—Amid discussions of possibly postponing the debate altogether, Sens. Barack Obama (D-IL) and John McCain (R-AZ) were able to agree Thursday on a new guideline that would allow each candidate one 15-second strangulation during Friday night's presidential debate. "Both candidates will receive two minutes to answer each question, five minutes for discussion, and a one-time only option to walk over to his opponent's podium and cut off his oxygen supply for up to fifteen seconds," a statement from the Commission on Presidential Debates read in part, also specifying that debate moderator Jim Lehrer can exercise his own discretion in determining whether or not the strangulations go over time.  

First Dude

If this isn't one of the most awkward interviews you've ever seen...

Nice work, Fox News! Some really penetrating investigative journalism here. My favorite excerpt: 

Greta: What did you say to [Sarah] after her [convention] speech?

Todd: 'Great speech.' 

Greta: And what did she say?

Todd: 'Thanks.' 

Christmas in July

Dear Walmart & Rite-Aid, 

I love what you've done with your Halloween aisles. But...I'm just not ready yet. See you in a few weeks. 

     John

Above is a recent away message from one of my friends. Like him, I'm bewildered as to why I need to be looking at Halloween candy in September. I remember going grocery shopping in August, walking into Food Emporium, and being greeted by shelves upon shelves of bite-sized treats. Big, orange, plastic packages of chocolately goodness. With pumpkins on them. And bats. And ghosts. In August. 

Is this an American thing? Why sweet Jesus am I seeing paper cut-outs of pilgrims pasted on the front doors of houses in my neighborhood? Can't you people at least have the decency to wait until Halloween passes before thinking about Thanksgiving?! I know you're anxious, but damn. Ride it out, son. Ride it out. 

P.S. The picture of that baby above was taken on a sweltering July afternoon. 

Check Me Out, Son

It's really not worth reading beyond the byline, lol...just like to see my name ;)

Catcher in the Rye

So I just finished reading "Catcher in the Rye" yesterday while coming home from work. The 1 train pulls up at 59th street and I get on, stand somewhere in the middle of the car and pull out my book. Then I notice that this guy sitting right under me is reading it too, which is kind of awkward but no big deal. Then a seat opens up -- right next to the guy. So there we are, sitting next to each other, reading the same edition of this book (with the BRIGHT ass yellow and red cover). More than a little awkward. I couldn't even concentrate. Am I obligated to somehow acknowledge that I know we're reading the same thing? Make some clever joke about what great taste he has in books? Turn to him and smile knowingly? I didn't want my eyes to go too far to my right when I was reading because I was afraid he'd think, out of his peripheral vision, that I kept looking over to see which part he was up to in the story. Then I noticed people around us looking from my cover to his, and back again. Yes people, we're reading the same book. And sitting right next to each other. Okay? The worst part was just as I was finishing the book and starting to put it back in my bag, he was getting up to get off at his stop, which totally made it look like the only reason I took my book out in the first place was because I saw HIM reading it. Perrrrfect.

Like a Fish Out of Water

That's kinda what it felt like when the powers that be behind the curtains of the RNC (didn't mean for that to rhyme) played '70s hit "Barracuda" after Sarah Palin's speech last week. How do these people even know such a kick ass, Guitar Hero III-worthy song?

Well Ann and Nancy Wilson, the members of the band (Heart), have asked the Republican party to stop using their music. "I think it's completely unfair to be so misrepresented," Nancy Wilson told Entertainment Weekly. "I feel completely fucked over... [Barracuda] was written in the late 70s as a scathing rant against the soulless, corporate nature of the music business, particularly for women ... There's irony in Republican strategists' choice to make use of it there." Find out who else wants the campaign to stop using their music here.

Please Stop.

Men: Why are you still doing this? I mean, why do you INSIST on CONTINUING to do this?? Didn't you hear Jay-Z when he said, "And I don't wear jerseys, I'm thirty plus/Give me a crisp pair of jeans, nigga button up" -- ?!?!? I've got an addendum to the rule. If you're over the age of 5 and not presently on your way to a football game in a stadium, take that shiny ass jersey off. That goes for the dude in the photo above looking REALLY cool in his myspace picture, too. I'm not even gonna start on his crew.

What's Really Good?

I don't know how to begin talking about the election because I have so much that I want to say about it...but I will address one thing. I watched the entire Democratic National Convention, and since you can intelligently support something only when you know the other side of it, I've also been watching the RNC. I tried to look at it without giving in to my preconceived notions about the people on that hall floor, but it's impossible. Watching it was infuriatating.

Last night, it occurred to me that the RNC differs from the DNC in one striking way, and that's its nastiness. There's really no other word for it, and if you watched Rudy's speech, you know exactly what I mean. And when people cheered, and he laughed this scary, gleeful laugh in response, it reminded me of that scene in Borat when he's talking at the rodeo -- telling people he's against gay marriage and in support of bombing the shit out of other countries, basically -- and the crowd is hooting and hollering in delight. You know there's something wrong with your party when you use 'intellectual' as an insult, i.e. "the Obama-Biden ticket is for the intellectuals and has nothing to do with us." A hard-working farmer or factory worker can be smart, you know. He can be aware of the world and recognize the capacity for us to be better and want to be a part of that process.

Yes, it was frustrating to watch the convention of people that don't agree with me. But last night bothered me on a different level, too. It really spelled out to me what the Republican party is all about. I almost felt sick, for example, when Ms. Sarah Palin mocked Barack by saying, "Al Qaeda terrorists still plot to inflict catastrophic harm on America; [Obama's] worried that someone won't read them their rights?" This, to me, confirms the fact that Repubs believe that all people who look a certain way have a certain agenda. That we as a country have a right to detain people who fit a profile that we've created, torture them without having any real information on them, and ignore any notion of human rights. That we can scare and psychologically bully people into voting for military strength alone.

I'm already on Bush's list, so I'll put myself on another one by saying this: America creates terrorists. Let's say your city was being bombed constantly by another country. You couldn't go to school or work or on a date without worrying that you might get blown up or killed by foreign soldiers who treat you like you're subhuman. You move to that country to get work or live some semblance of a life, and get randomly searched and eventually arrested for traveling or walking down the street. You get thrown in a cell, no one asks you anything apart from shit you know nothing about, no one knows where you are, and you get tortured severely by people who think it's not torture. Would you not leave that cell with some kind of hate or disdain for that country and its government? Maybe it's unsafe to say something like that in such a public space and my Dad is always telling me to watch what I say around people, but I don't believe in censoring myself to make other people comfortable. I don't believe in not saying what I think, even if I live in a country that stifles honest and informed opinions.

Anyway. Here's a video and transcript of Palin's speech if you missed it. What strikes me the most is how nasty they're being, how derisive and belittling. And, in contrast, how gracious and graceful the DNC was, both in comparison and on its own. Well the pundits and reporters are saying what a hit the speech was, and I'd love to hear your thoughts. I don't plan on blogging after the McCain speech. I think I've been pretty controversial lately and I hope I'm not scaring anyone off. Hope you don't get arrested for reading this.

Shit...

...I forgot I had a blog.

Happy Wednesday

Coney Island Gets Controversial

On 12th Street off Surf Avenue, you'll bump into this side show. If you climb to the top of the concrete steps, put a dollar into the little hole that the red arrow is pointing to and peek through the barred window, you'll see something you probably wouldn't expect to see on Coney Island. The show, created by artist Steve Powers, is called the "Waterboard Thrill Ride," and depicts Spongebob on the outside wall getting waterboarded by Squidworth and exclaiming, "It don't Gitmo better!" Pretty provocative stuff.

Put your dollar into the slot and a reenactment of a torture scene comes alive before your curious little eyes. There's literally a guy in a black hood pouring water into the mouth and nostrils of a figure in an orange jumpsuit for fifteen seconds.


A few things intrigue me about this. First, the juxtaposition of the scene you're watching through the bars with the backdrop of kids, the beach, rides, and hot dogs is pretty striking. Same kind of idea behind using a popular and notoriously naive cartoon character to advertise the show. And third, the following statement made by the artist (published in the Times today): "What's more obscene, the official position that waterboarding is not torture, or our official position that it's a thrill ride?"

What do you think? Is this an inappropriate show for Coney Island? Is the artist somehow trivializing or exploiting the torture method and/or victims of waterboarding?

Stop Fronting!

At the risk of pulling a Dmitry by posting video after video with no text for weeks at a time in order to assuage my guilt for not blogging, I have a question about this one. Why do marketing agencies insist on trying to make people believe that dorm rooms look like hotels in heaven? Students have likely visited campuses, children don't care about college, and grown-ups have been to college and know what real dorm rooms look like, so who exactly are they trying to fool?



Maybe I'm wrong and roommates burst out into spontaneous-but-choreographed dance sequences upon meeting, and proceed to decorate their spaces sans school-commissioned furniture. In which case you screwed me, Colgate. You screwed me.

Beware of the Fuwa!

The upcoming Beijing Olympics will start at exactly 8pm on August 8, because eight is a lucky number for the Chinese. With the "Curse of the Fuwa" upon them, they can use all the luck they can get.

The Fuwa, meaning "good-luck dolls" or "friendlies," are the five teddy bear-looking creatures designed by a famous Chinese artist as the mascots for the 2008 Olympics. Together, their names say "Beijing huanying ni," which means "Beijing welcomes you." Adorable, right? Plus they're much better than the mostly lame mascots other countries have come up with in the past. So why are Chinese people deathly afraid of them? And why has the artist totally disowned them? Because they believe that these cuddly beasts, created in the image of the country's favorite animals, are portents of the various disasters that China has suffered so far this year.

*In May, an earthquake devastated Sichuan province, renowned home of the Panda bear. JingJing, the black one, is a Panda.

*HuanHuan (the red one in the center) represents the Olympic torch. He's also being blamed for the unrest that occurred during the torch relay around the world, which also brought light to the situation in Tibet and made a lot of people think of China as oppressive and feudalistic.

*YingYing (yellow), a Tibetan antelope, is apprently the cause of that whole Tibet mess.

*In April, there was a deadly train crash in Weifang, known as the "Kite City." Nini is a swallow who's decorated like a green kite.

*It was in June when the fear of the Fuwa grew significantly. Southern China was hit with the worst flooding in 50 years, forcing over 1.6 million people to evacuate their homes. Beibei, the blue one, is fish-shaped and also represents water. She's also female, naturally.

Religious and superstitious people (many Chinese are both) have a knack for connecting coincidences with divine or supernatural influence (sometimes very convincingly). But this is pretty weird. What do you think?

The Complicated Art of Satire

Here's illustrator Barry Blitt's illustration on this week's cover of the New Yorker:




It's obviously an attempt at satire and not a reflection of the magazine's actual opinion of the Obamas (or at least let's hope not), so I won't even address the people who are offended by the depiction.

I guess the question is whether or not you think the cover is successful. Most Americans are pretty dumb and do not understand the concept of satire, so it could be a failure in the sense that it didn't take that into consideration. But you could also say that the magazine addresses a specific audience, a more "intellectual" and urbane one, so it's fine because the people who were supposed to get it, did.

One opinion I read from a Slate commenter kind of intrigued me:

"Any satire that can be easily used to further the viewpoint it's trying to satirize, is, by definition, a failure. The New Yorker cover fails abysmally."

Interesting way of looking at satire. What do you think? Was this cover a success? Should a magazine only pander to its intended demographic?

Weekly Weigh-In

So I've been away for a while and I need to get back into the blogging habit. I'll start with a weigh-in. Among the most irksome of my texting pet peeves are the following:

*When you text someone to tell them know you're on your way or you'll call them later or something like that, and they reply with, "k." I hate one-word text messages to begin with, but one-letter ones are abominable.

*When people use numbers to abbreviate words, i.e. l8er, gr8, 2morrow, etc.

*Text message forwards ("Send this to all your friends in the next 5 minutes or you'll be ugly and loveless forever!!)

*When people text when they should be calling, resulting in 20 unnecessary messages back & forth, or call at inconvenient times when they could just text.

Do you agree or disagree with any of these? Any others you would add?

"Believe Me, It's Torture."

Graydon Carter, famous editor-in-chief of Vanity Fair, asked writer Christopher Hitchens if he would agree to go through water-boarding and then write an article about it for the July issue of the magazine. Hitchens is a pretty sick opinion writer and does a lot of good stuff for Slate, where you may have run into his stuff. Water-boarding, if you're unfamiliar with the term, is a form of torture that's currently on the menu at Guantanamo Bay. They basically strap you down to something so that you're lying on your back, put something over your head (a mask, a bag, whatever) and pour water into your breathing passages so that you're pretty much drowning. Some people like to think that this isn't a form of torture, and the VF article is his response to that.

The site won't allow me to embed the video, but you should really click on this link and check it out (it's not long). Hitchens is given two balls, one in each of his hands, to release his grip from if he feels untolerable pressure or pain. I thought it was amazing how quickly he not only relesed his grip but flung the balls out of his hands, when the prisoners at Guantanamo are probably being subjected to this for hours at a time, if they don't die first. Watch the video and then tell me, do you think it's safe to call this practice "torture?" And do you think it's justifiable that they're doing this to people we're holding without any sort of hearing or trial?

Weekly Weigh-In

I recently got my hands on a Viewmaster. Remember those? It was like your own little private show filled with splashes of technicolor and funny little cartoon characters from the old days. (I just turned 24 and I'm having a mid-twenties crisis.) It got me thinking about all the cool stuff from my childhood, like snap bracelets, Rainbow Brite, the Saturday morning TV lineup (California Raisins), Tamagotchis, and how all the cool kids in elementary school used to bring in Now&Laters and the more colors you had, the cooler you were. If you had the flavor that just came out, you were basically King of the World.

What's your favorite thing from your childhood, or the thing you get most nostalgic about? A TV show, movie (Land Before Time, anyone?), food, candy, toy...give it to me.

Are You ADHD?!

Pharrell "Freddy Sess" Williams has some tattoos that he wants to get rid of. It happens -- you get inked up when you're 17 or 18 and then you grow up and realize you did something dumb. Fair enough. It's HOW he's getting them removed that bothers me. The procedure he prefers involves using new skin to cover the ink. Says Pharrell in the July issue of UK Vogue:

"It's basically like getting a skin graft, but you're not taking skin from your ass or your legs. These guys actually grow the skin for you," he explains. "First you have to give them a sample of your skin, which they then replicate. Once that's been done, they sew it on - and it's seamless."

Umm, what? They grow skin for you? That's DISGUSTING!!! **gag**

A lot of you guys have tattoos. If money wasn't an issue, and knowing that getting your ink lasered off often hurts more than getting the tat itself, would you consider this procedure instead?

Weekly Weigh-In

Do you get annoyed when people read over your shoulder? For example, if you're on the train and you open up the newspaper and someone standing behind you or sitting next to you starts reading your paper, too.

I'm So Ready.

Apparently lots of people are saying that Heath Ledger could win an Oscar for his portrayal of the Joker in Dark Knight. Director Kevin Smith recently saw the movie, and here's what he had to say, courtesy of his blog:

"Courtesy of Peter Sciretta over at SlashFilm.com, I caught an early screening of "The Dark Knight" yesterday evening. Without giving anything away, this is an epic film (and trust me: based on the sheer size and scope of the visuals and storytelling, that's not an overstatement). It's the "Godfather II" of comic book films and three times more earnest than "Batman Begins" (and fuck, was that an earnest film). Easily the most adult comic book film ever made. Heath Ledger didn't so much give a performance as he disappeared completely into the role; I know I'm not the first to suggest this, but he'll likely get at least an Oscar nod (if not the win) for Best Supporting Actor. Fucking flick's nearly three hours long and only leaves you wanting more (in a great way). I can't imagine anyone being disappointed by it. Nolan and crew have created something close to a masterpiece."

He dissolves into the role? It's the Godfather II of comic book movies? Hmm...I'm excited.

Modern Art

Olafur Eliasson, with the Public Art Fund, has created four man-made 'waterfalls' located across the Manhattan shoreline. The 'art' installment will be on view until October 13th and is called "The New York City Waterfalls." Original, huh? The falls are on every day, from morning until 10 PM, but will automatically shut off if there's really strong wind. They measure from 90 to 120 feet long and are supposed to incorporate building elements that are unique to New York (scaffolding is the backbone of each structure). You can find them at the following locations:

-Under the Brooklyn Bridge (on the Brooklyn side)
-Between Piers 4 and 5 in Brooklyn (west of the Brooklyn Heights Promenade)
-Pier 35 in Manhattan (adjacent to South Street at Rutgers Street)
-The north shore of Governor's Island



Says the Times of the exhibit, "they could almost fool King Kong into thinking he is back home. They are the remnants of a primordial Eden, beautiful, uncanny signs of a natural nonurban past that the city never had." They also try to make some vague Walt Whitman connection that doesn't really work.

I feel like this is more architecture than art, but I guess some could argue that those two things are inevitably connected. What do you think?

Shake Shack

I had this past Friday off and decided to do something epic with it. Since it was really nice out and I'd been craving a burger for weeks, I went to Shake Shack. I didn't get a portobello burger (deep-fried and stuffed with cheese) or anything like that, either. I broke my no-beef rule and ordered me up a cheeseburger. Two of them. And fries. And a frozen custard. And an Arnold Palmer (half iced tea, half lemonade). Because if you're gonna do it, you have to do it right.

I'd heard about the legendary lines, and when I got there it was snaking through the park. It moved along pretty quickly, though, considering that they make the burgers right when you order them. They also have a bee-line, which is wayyy shorter, but you can only get on it if you're ordering a concrete, drinks or frozen custard. I had some decent entertainment, though. There was some kid, whose parents were in front of us in line, who was just going nuts the whole time. He threw himself in the dirt and then started screaming. He kicked his little brother's stroller and then started bawling. He heard his Mom ordering burgers and howled "mayonaise and ketchup!!!!" until he was red in the face and crying hysterically. When I was standing towards the end of line, some guy walked past yelling, "trust me, it's not worth it!" But fuck that guy because yes, it was.


The burger was cooked to juicy perfection. I've never had anything that was less than well done, but this was medium-well leaning towards medium. The fries were good--evenly cooked and crispy. I had a chocolate custard which was yum (the flavor of the day was blackberry which I wasn't that into). Very nice texture, like nothing I've had before. The Arnold Palmer was good but I think a burger like that needed a Coke with a lot of ice. I'll try that next time, and maybe a concrete, too. But I'm definitely sticking with the single cheeseburger -- no doubles, mushroom burgs, or hot dogs. I'll also eat much slower next time (I was starving by the time I finally got down to Chelsea and conquered the line).

I guess I don't have much to compare it to since this was my first real beef burger, but I went with my boyfriend who says it's the best burger he's ever had, so I feel validated. Oh, and the freakin' buns are amazing. I'm not sure what they do to them. It's owned by Danny Meyer, who also owns Tabla (across the street on the corner of Madison and 23rd), The Modern, Blue Smoke, and Union Square Café among others. So I guess Shake Shack is the fine dining version of fast food, but just as deliciously greasy as the real deal.

Have you ever been to Shake Shack? If so, tell me what they do to the buns. If not, I hope this review makes you want to go because it's all that and a bag of chips.

Liars and Thieves

Something TERRIBLE has happened to me.

This past weekend, I bought a box of Honey Nut Cheerios so that I could bring it to work, leave it on my desk and have some for breakfast every morning. I chose this cereal for two very important reasons.

1. I haven't had it in a while and whenever I buy two of the same cereals in a row, no matter how good it is, I get tired of it and end up throwing away that second box and buying something different. (A case of hurtin' for some strange?)

2. It may be childish, but I've never grown tired of or disenchanted with the wonderful surprise that is the cereal box toy. You buy some cereal for the deliciousness inside, but then one day, you're pouring a bowl (it could be any day because you don't know where in the box the toy actually is) and BOOM! Out comes a fun surprise. In this particular case, it was a BATMAN toy. And umm, I love Batman.


So, I'm just getting into work, settling in, checking my email, etc. I grab my box of Cheerios and head to the kitchen to pour myself a bowl (plastic cup) and come back to my desk to enjoy the Honey Nut goodness. Everything's great.

Towards the end of the day, I go back into the kitchen for a bottle of water and see my box of Cheerios sitting on the counter. No big deal--I'd just forgotten it from earlier that morning. I pick it up to take it back to my desk...and it feels significantly lighter. Notably. Uncharacteristically. Fine, I thought. Someone took some Cheerios, whatever.

I get back to my desk and something occurs to me. I stop in my tracks. I open the box. I shake it up and peer inside...and yes. Just what I suspected. The toy is GONE. I have nothing else to say about this, except that I feel like the Hulk up in this bitch.

Mr. and Mrs. Sheen

Voicemail messages from Charlie Sheen to Denise Richards have recently been leaked onto the internet, and they're REALLY something. Here's an example:

Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Message Received at 1:00pm

Yea, I just got your other email and I am a little confused because you told me that was something you only told a couple of people, and this and that, and I just, again you continue to be deceitful and mischievous and sneaky, and you're a fucking liar. Okay. You're a fucking liar. So, you know what it's like, fuck you. Okay, I hope you rot in fucking hell. You're a piece of shit fucking liar and I hope you fucking rot in hell. So fuck you. I hope I never fucking talk to you again you fucking cunt. Fuck you. You're a coward and a liar and a fucking nigger alright, so fuck you.

Whoa. What?! What a RANDOM thing to call her! In what capacity could he possibly have meant that? Any why am I laughing HYSTERICALLY every time I read it? It makes no sense. Unless he was making a vague reference to her role in Undercover Brother. Any thoughts?


(transcription courtesy of Perez Hilton)

A Matter of Etiquette

Question.

If you gave someone a gift, and you're with them when they get complimented on it, and the person doesn't say anything about having gotten it as a gift from you, is that rude?

For example, you gave me a pair of earrings. We're out one evening and someone we knows says, 'oh, nice earrings.' I say, 'thanks,' and although you're standing right there, I don't mention that it was a gift from you. Would you feel snubbed?

Hulk, Take Two

I went to a screening of The Incredible Hulk last night. As some of you may remember, Ang Lee's version in 2003 was maybe the worst movie to ever come out. It was slow-moving, unexciting, and the attempt to make it a piece of art totally overshadowed what a comic book movie it supposed to be all about. People were actually walking out of the theater when I went to see it. When Lee heard that a second "Hulk" was being made, without a number two in the title, he was "bewildered." He said, "I was very proud of the movie I made. It seemed strange that it was being treated as if it didn't exist." That's because it was a piece of shit, Ang. Just get what you can out of Brokeback.

The first and most important thing that I can say about this one is that whoever's mind it was in which it first occurred the thought hmm, maybe we should use Ed Norton, is a damn genius. I think he does for the Hulk, on a much larger and more significant scale, what Christian Bale did for Batman -- provided him with a new depth and context that really enhanced both the movie and the viewer's connection to it. Norton also had an unconventional amount of creative input into the making of the film. Zak Penn wrote the original draft of the script, and then Norton took it and basically rewrote it (but he's not getting any writing credit). I think he also made it clear that he wouldn't do the movie if it didn't turn out to be done in a way that he liked, which is less of a dick move and more of an actor (and a fan of the Hulk) wanting to make sure that he didn't get involved with a flop. Considering the first Hulk, I would say it was even necessary.


Anyway, it's a great summer movie; I definitely recommend that you go see it. There are a few surprise appearances and Tim Roth plays Abomination, which makes for an interesting fight towards the end. I heard some grumblings about Liv Tyler, but I thought she made an excellent Betty Ross. Her naturally calm demeanor does exactly what it's supposed to do for her character and for the Hulk. And let me just say again that Ed Norton is the freakin' man. Go see it and tell me what you think - about the movie in general and about the ending ;)

The View From My Floor

This was taken the other day, after it rained. Kinda cool. That's the edge of Central Park and the river in the background. One nice thing about work, I guess. (Click on it to get the full effect.)

Breaking through the BLOCK

Okay, yes, I'm going through my first blog slump. I'm ashamed, but you know what, it happens. Right? I've just been feeling a little uninspired. I don't wanna write about something that happened or occurred to me that you don't really give a damn about. But it's a strange science. Sometimes I blog about some random thing and get an uproar of response, and sometimes I spend a lot of time on a post and don't really get much of anything. Then I feel super lazy for posting a quotation or a video, but sometimes I wanna share those things, too. Such is the dilemma of a blogger, I suppose.

Anyway, here's a list of quirky things about me. Maybe you'll be interested. Maybe you won't.

*I always sleep with one leg sticking out of my blanket. No matter how cold it is, I have to have that one leg airing out. And no matter how hot it is, I have to sleep with a full down comforter.

*I'm very impatient when I order things. I'll track the package about a minimum of five times a day, and then once or twice after I get home from work. If I don't get a tracking number emailed to me, I'll call to ask for one.

*My top lip all but disappears when I smile really hard. It's okay though, I'm not weird about it.

*I curse people out in my head A LOT. Random people on the street who are walking too slow in front of me, people who don't get their wallets or Metrocards out until ALL their shit is rung up or they're standing right at the turnstile, old people, etc.

*I have the weirdest, most random, craziest dreams you could ever imagine. Did you ever watch "Aaahh!!! Real Monsters" on Nickelodeon? They had a machine that you could connect to your brain, kinda like a projector, and it would replay all the scares they did throughout the day so all the other monsters could discuss. I'm gonna work on developing one of those so that I can show people my dreams, because until you see them for yourselves, you'll never understand.


*I love carrot juice. Ever tried it? Delish.

*I sometimes speak in plurals. If you don't know what I mean, you may not spend enough time with me.

*I wish I knew more Guyanese and Indian people that are like me. (Not FOBS.)

Tell me some cool stuff about you that I probably don't know.

Stuff You Might NOT Wanna Know About...

All I can say about the following two ads is, "why?"

This first one is for Playstation. I know advertising is supposed to make you want something, but this makes me never, EVER want to touch a Playstation ever in my life. And yeah, that's a thumb. A thumb. What's that supposed to be telling me?


This second one isn't ridiculous so much as the product itself. Why would you want to buy or eat these? Who thinks to himself, hey, I really feel like sending someone a box of chocolate assholes. If by chance you do, you can find them here.

Stuff You Might Wanna Know About

I love to watch movies, and I know some of you do, too. So you might be interested in the following news:

*Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer Films are teaming up to make a movie out of a Ubisoft video game. It will be called "Prince of Persia: Sands of Time," starring Jake Gyllenhaal as Dastan and Gemma Arterton as Tamina. Production is slated to begin in July in Morocco and England. So they're going to make him look Persian? Hmm. I haven't seen a good video game adaptation since the first Resident Evil, but I played Prince of Persia (like twice) and might check this one out.

*Ben Barnes, who plays Prince Caspian in the new Narnia installment, has been cast as Dorian in the new adaptation of Oscar Wilde's "Picture of Dorian Gray," which will also begin production at the end of July. I'm very excited about this one because it's one of my favorite novels and I'm not into old movies, so I haven't seen the 1945 version, nor will I ever. They're "planning to make a visceral, dark horror story." Sounds delicious!

*Joseph McGinty Nichol, the director of the Charlie's Angels movies, has started up a new Terminator trilogy. The first movie will be called "Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins." Ehh, sounds a little cheesy. The GREAT news is that John Connor will be played by Christian Bale (yum!). No word yet on whether or not Ahnuld will be making a return. Production has already started and the movie will probably be released in May 2009. Christian apparently loved the script so much, that he signed up for all three installments. Do you think it's going to be good? Would you like to see the Cali governor back in his most famous role? Are you as excited as I am to see Christian in "Dark Knight?!?!?!?"


*On Monday in Cannes, Spike Lee announced that he'll be making a Michael Jordan documentary, which he'd like to bring to Cannes for next year's festival. "The project will feature previously-unseen footage shot by NBA cameras during the final two years in Jordan's career, the 2001-02 and 2002-03 seasons." Jordan is arguably the best player in the history of the NBA, but he's been out of the limelight for some time now. Would you still be interested in going to see a documentary of him?

***UPDATE***

Word on the street is that Hugh Heffner has signed off on Robert Downey Jr. to play him in his biopic, which is tentatively being called Playboy. That Downey is so hot right now!

Hurtin' for "Some Strange"

Has anyone read the cover story of the most recent New York mag? It's called "The Affairs of Men," and the cover shot is of a "happily married" guy lying next to some chick in lingerie that's "not his wife." Hmm.

The basic premise of Philip Weiss' piece is that men need variety, they're hard-wired to want to monopolize the sex and emotional lives of as many women as possible, and that sexual exclusivity is unnatural and unfeasible. Someone he calls a "forward-thinking friend" claims that "we make the mistake of thinking some people have a stronger will, they don't." Is it safe to say that people, and women in particular, should man up and embrace the reality of never really being enough for someone, just by virtue of not being more than one person?

It's human nature to like variety. And maybe the idea of total monogamy is in fact unrealistic. If that's the case, why is marriage a (the?) primary institution in our society? Did Indian maharajas, who married multiple wives and also kept thousands of courtesans, have it right? In the words of Kris Kristofferson, we want constant and guilt-free access to "some strange."

"Why does society consider it more moral for you to break up a marriage, go through a divorce, disrupt your children's lives maybe forever, just to be able to fuck someone with whom the fucking is going to get just as boring as it was with the first person before long?" --Susan Squire, author of I Don't

Strange that there should be such a premium placed on monogamy when there exists this universal and hovering sense of inadequacy. What kind of magic is monogamy doing that it makes us believe that all of our intellectual, sexual, and emotional needs can be met by one person?

Some interesting things in this article, if you choose not to read it for yourself:

*Average number of partners for men throughout their lives is 35. For women, it's 6.

*27% of people have fantasized about someone else while in the act with their partner.

*Men can feel perfectly happy and satisfied with their partners, and still cheat.

*A woman's affair is more likely to be long, emotional, and undetected.

"A relationship is a myth you create with each other. It isn't necessarily true, but it's meaningful. The key to that myth is that the other person is enough for you. You know in your head that one other person isn't enough for you. But if you don't honor the myth, then it crumbles."

I know this post is long and probably somewhat byzantine, but I'm wondering if we just need to completely revamp our idea of what a healthy relationship looks like. If human nature necessitates variety in all aspects of life, including love/romantic relationships/sexual partners, then we need to get real and stop seeing marriage and monogamy as the only feasible options. If human nature is equally comprised of irrationality and emotions, then things like hurt, jealousy, betrayal, etc. prevent us from being ready to move past that courting-dating-marriage-kids model. So what's the solution?

Obama in Oregon

The Truth

"The truth is like the sun in that its benefit is entirely dependent on our distance from it."

Probably the realest statement in the history of all time. Kind of stings a little, huh?

The Morning (Night) After

So, the concert was sick.


It opened up with Lupe Fiasco, who actually had a decent-sized audience for an opener. His album, The Cool, had just gone gold the day of the concert, which is perfect. (Pick it up; it's really, really good.) His performance was fantastic -- the flow and delivery were nasty, the words were clear and precise, his energy was nuts, and his set wasn't at all enhanced by any extraordinary lighting or stage props, but still GREAT. He mostly did songs from the new album, but also threw in some old stuff like, "Kick, Push." The audience showed him a lot of love, which I felt good about. He deserved it.




Next came Pharrell with N.E.R.D. The lights during this set were ridiculous. Just ridiculous. At some points it felt more like a rock concert than a rap one, with people tossing their heads back and forth, throwing up that Star Trek sign, and N.E.R.D. going nuts onstage. Lupe came out at one point to jump around with them. It felt like there should have been a mosh pit and the lights definitely reflected that frenetic/chaotic/sporadic feel, and it was awesome to be a part of. You couldn't help wanting to freak out with them.


Then Rihanna hit the stage, and the set was weak. She started singing other people's songs, including Beenie Man's "Girl Dem Sugah (Sim Simma)" and, in perhaps the night's worst moment, Lauryn Hill's "That Thing." Was she serious? But then Chris Brown made a guest appearance during "Umbrella" and I was appeased. Her set definitely brought down my high from an otherwise DOPE opening. A lot of people seemed to be enjoying her, though, so this is totally just my opinion. And her body was looking freakin' right in the black leather pants she changed into after this random goth ball gown.


Last, of course, came Kayne. Watching this dude perform is like watching a movie, or a Broadway play. The stage design kept changing, the lighting was intricate and fluid, and he weaved every song from "Graduation" into this plot about getting lost in space and finding his way back home. There was a talking spaceship, an ego-boosting alien ("We need the biggest star in the universe to save the ship...We need you, Kanye."), hologram video hoes and more. Kanye is a dramatist. I definitely felt bad for him at some points, laughed at his crazy dancing, felt inspired by his energy, and found myself screaming every lyric I knew, totally caught up in the whole thing. It was a show in the true sense of the word -- a true spectacle -- not a rap concert. It was really, truly something to see.


As a side note, the seats were great, and sitting a few feet to my left were Anthony Anderson, Jay-Z, Beyonce, John Legend, Quest Love, Angie Martinez, P. Diddy, and some other 'celebs.' It was kinda cool to see artists supporting another artist.


You can see more pics & some video clips here. And here's the Times review of the show, if you're interested. Tell me what you think. Enjoy!

You Can Be My Black Kate Moss Tonight

This is where I'll be tomorrow night. The stage design is supposed to be NASTY, including stuff from Jim Henson's Creature Shop (of Muppet Babies fame), holograms, a robot designed by Christian Colon, and some really sick lighting. I did hear that Kanye got pissed about some lukewarm review of the concert in some other city. What are your predictions?